While February seems to be the month focused on relationships and love, we can continue to build and maintain these long-lasting connections everyday with our children. From Valentine’s Day in February to International Day of Families in May and National Loving Day in June, the year is filled with different opportunities to teach our children the importance of healthy relationships and the skills needed to build and nurture those relationships.

Relationships are an important part of a child’s social and emotional development. As humans, the need to communicate with others is essential. We create friendships, partnerships, and interactions that provide us the connection we need. Your child, whether you realize it or not, is learning and growing through their relationships with every person they’re in contact with. The skills needed to build healthy relationships begin to develop at birth.

As children get older, they become more independent and more focused on creating friendships with their peers. Although parents continue to be the most important people in their child’s life, children tend to distance themselves as they learn how to become self-sufficient. This is a good thing, but there are steps you can take to make sure that you’re maintaining a close, healthy relationship with your newly independent school-ager.

Growing and Maintaining a Relationship with Your School-Ager:

Keep it positive and intentional When you sense a perfect time to talk either about school or friends, be simple and positive. Your child is experiencing and learning a lot. Be careful not to shame them or make them feel uncomfortable talking to you. Let them know you are on their team!

Listen closely Sometimes as adults, it’s our instinct to impart our wisdom on our little ones. It’s important to remember that children learn the best by modeling or watching you. If your child wants to talk, listen closely, acknowledge their feelings, and empathize. This will go a long way in letting your child know you are a safe person to talk to.

Set clear rules Explain what you expect from your child upfront. Children like to know what to expect and what’s expected of them. Being clear about limits and expectations will help to reduce conflict and increase transparency in the household.

Have family meals Family meals can strengthen your family relationships and your child’s sense of belonging. It also provides time every day, free of distraction, to connect and have a conversation.

Create family traditions You may never realize the impact, memories, and connections that traditions can create. Whether it’s making cookies every Christmas Eve or going for ice cream before the first day of school each year, your children will love having a special family moment to look forward to and look back on.

Relationships require time, care, and a lot of nurturing. As parents, your energy is constantly being pulled in a thousand directions. Be sure to take a step back to ensure that the relationship with your school-ager is growing and developing just as they are.

Additional Resources:

Family Dinner Project

Relationships with school-age children: ideas and tips

While parents are at work providing for their families, they should feel at peace knowing their child is in a safe, nurturing learning environment. Quality early childhood experiences are essential to healthy development of communication, critical thinking, and decision-making skills. Finding a great program allows your children the opportunity to grow, learn and socialize with other children.

It’s important to note that child care programs are not created equal. Choosing a child care provider is no small task, and it’s not a decision to be taken lightly. It involves research, phone calls, checking inspection records and references, interviews and tours to ensure that the provider you choose offers the safe, quality care that your child needs to thrive. Each family is unique, so be sure that the provider you choose can accommodate your individual needs. As you begin your child care search, use these general considerations to assess the quality of the providers you interview.

Licensed or Regulated

Between child care centers, family day homes, individual caregivers, and recreational programs, there are several different types of child care in Virginia (see chart below). Is the child care provider you’re considering licensed or regulated by the state? Licensed child care providers receive twice yearly inspections by the state to ensure they are following regulations, are required to maintain CPR/First Aid certification, and attend continuing education trainings each year based on required hours.

Voluntarily registered family day homes and religiously exempt child care centers are not licensed, but they are regulated by the state. They are not held to the same standards for licensed providers, however they are required to meet basic health and safety standards, and submit to several background checks. Individual caregivers (i.e. a nanny or “babysitter”) are not regulated in any way by the state and are not required to meet even basic health and safety standards.

Group Size and Ratio

Does the program have an appropriate number of adults to children in the room? Children need attention to thrive- for safety reasons and to ensure healthy development. Below is the required ratio for children to adults in licensed child care centers, as well as the point guide for family day homes. Family day homes can care for up to 12 children as long as they adhere to the point system below. One caregiver can care for 16 points and each child counts as a certain number of points depending on their age group. Be sure that the program you consider follows these guidelines.

Safety

Inspect the program’s environment. Is the front door locked and secure? Who is allowed into the building and how are visitors screened? If there are weapons or guns on the premises, are they locked and secured? Are outdoor play areas fenced in? Has the provider taken child-proofing measures to ensure safety? Check for covers on outlets, safety buckles on chairs, and to ensure cleaning equipment and products are out of reach. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and look around! When it comes to your child’s safety, you want to be as thorough as possible.

Your child care provider should also have an established, written, and practiced emergency plan available for you to view. If an emergency were to happen, you will want to know that your child care provider is prepared and that all parents and staff are aware of the plan.

Inspection History

Each licensed child care program in Virginia will receive two annual inspections to ensure regulation compliance. Any parent complaint filed or violation found during a licensing inspection is available to view online. Just visit the Virginia Department of Social Services website to learn more. We always encourage parents to view inspection records as they consider enrolling their child in any program.

Child Care Aware of Virginia is dedicated to helping parents understand their child care options and locate quality child care in their area. We have a number of resources we’ve developed to help make your decision as easy as possible. As you begin the process of choosing a child care provider, please check out our Choosing Quality Child Care packet. As always, we are here to answer any questions.

Additional Resources

To search for child care in your area, visit our online self-search or give our Referral Specialist a call at 1-866-KIDS TLC

Learn more about Virginia’s quality rating system, Virginia Quality

Check out our Instagram for tips and facts about quality child care

As adults, we tend to imagine treadmills, dumbbells or our favorite Zumba Class when we hear the word “exercise.” Use of equipment and organized group classes keep us on track, but for children, exercise looks a little bit different. Kids exercise by staying physically active and moving their bodies throughout the day.

Children who are more physically active have lower body fat, stronger bones, and stronger muscles. Physically active children have increased academic performance and memory, as well as decreased rates of depression. Encouraging regular physical activity in childhood will help to establish lifelong habits that prevent serious health conditions- such as obesity, type 2 diabetes, or high blood pressure.

We all sit more than we used to. Screen time is on the rise and unfortunately it’s taken away from physical activity time. In our last blog post, we talked about how we can place healthy limits on our children’s screen time. That’s a great start, but how can we also encourage more physical activity?

It is recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that children and adolescents should have 60 minutes or more of moderate to vigorous activity daily. Preschoolers should have more, at 120 minutes of active play each day- with a split between adult-led activities and unstructured free play. Parenting can be hectic, but with 24 hours in the day, we can make this happen! 

It doesn’t have to be all at once. 60 minutes could mean one hour of full on fun outside, or it could mean four 15-minute trips outside throughout the day to burn some energy. Every day is different, so your physical activity could look different each day.

Don’t be inactive for more than one hour at a time. If an hour has gone by while sitting, it’s time to get up and move! This is a good rule of thumb and can help keep your child on track for their physical activity goal.

Make family time an active activity. Have some fun! Go for a walk around the neighborhood or at a local park. Scope out the nearest playgrounds. During the summer, swimming is a great way to get plenty of physical activity without breaking a sweat. Your children will thank you, and the best part is- this will benefit you, as well!

Additional Resources:

Check out the 2018 Report Card on Physical Activity for Children and Youth

Look here for tips on Raising a Fit Preschooler

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Let’s face it, kids can’t get enough of technology. So, let’s talk screen time. TV shows, the internet, and video games can offer children a creative source of learning and entertainment if they are used appropriately. The issue is, screen time is easy to overdo.

Too much screen time can have unhealthy consequences for your child and family relationships. Studies from American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) have linked excessive screen time to childhood obesity, language delays, and lower literacy rates. Relationships are affected as well. When we are staring at screens, we aren’t interacting with each other. Overuse of technology can dramatically take away from quality family time.

But what exactly is screen time?

 Screen time is any passive time spent sitting in front of a video game, TV, cell phone/tablet, or computer (KidsHealth from Nemours).

So what does this mean?

 We get it. After a long day of work, finding the energy and time to keep children away from screens is difficult (especially if they are already in the habit of turning on the TV or video game after school). Between TV, phones, video games and tablets, screen time can add up quickly for the whole family. As uncomfortable as it may be in the beginning, there are steps you can take as a family to ensure each person is using reasonable amounts of screen time.

First things first…

Get an idea of how much time your family is spending on electronic devices.  Use the We Can! Screen Time Chart to track all of your family’s screen time. This will give you a good idea of how much time is spent on devices.  You can begin thinking about what changes can be made to reduce screen time and increase family time.

Set Limits

 If you find your family is clocking in more than the recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) listed above, you may want to brainstorm the most effective way to get down to one hour, whether that’s working your way down gradually or cutting down right away. Either way, setting limits and sticking to them will be key to reducing your child’s overall screen time.

PRO TIP: Use a timer to alert your child when their screen time is up.  It’s hard to debate with a clock!

Make Goals

Following limits is much easier when you have a goal to work toward. If your family aims to have no more than one hour of screen time a day, pair that limit with the goal of one hour of active play each day. Help your child focus on what they can do- hide and seek, draw with chalk, jumping rope, game of soccer, etc., rather than the screen time that’s being restricted. Consider starting an outdoor project, such as a family garden, to keep them engaged!

Cutting back on screen time allows families to spend more time doing physical activity and having quality family interactions. It also reduces the risk of your child being exposed to inappropriate content and the dangers of the internet. The time that children are spending watching TV, playing video games, or searching the internet should be monitored and supervised. Be sure to check out the additional resources listed below for more information on internet safety. 

Additional Resources:

Not all apps are created equal. This article can help you learn more about choosing appropriate apps for screen time.

Learn more about internet safety from Nemours article on Healthy Habits for TV, Video Games, and the Internet.

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Kindergarten Registration began on April 11th in Virginia. Maybe you’re a parent in shock that you just registered your baby to start school or maybe you’re eager to kick start your child’s education. Either way, preparing your child for kindergarten is an important task for all parents and starts as soon as your child is born.

While kindergarten readiness is usually thought to include basics such as letter and number recognition or reading skills, it also includes a range of social emotional skills. To be school-ready, children need to begin developing thinking skills, self-control, self-confidence, language and literacy skills. Here are a few skills you can encourage and build with your child leading up to that first day of kindergarten.

Build thinking skills by encouraging children to explore. Parents can use everyday moments and simple interactions as teaching opportunities. Babies will touch, bang on things, shake, and roll as they learn how things work. As they grow, allow your toddler to take the lead. Children this age learn by exploring and experiencing the world around them. Follow your child’s lead. Children benefit from repeated actions, as this strengthens connections in the brain. Encourage this by providing activities such as building with blocks, solving puzzles, or water and sand play.

Teach self-control by setting consistent limits. If you have a rule that there’s no screen time until after dinner, be sure to stick to it. A child who has crayons taken away when he or she uses them on the walls will know not to continue that behavior. By setting limits, your child knows what to expect and what is expected of them.

It is also important to label and acknowledge your child’s feelings when they begin to lose control. This lets them know they are heard and understood. This doesn’t mean giving in to their demands, but letting them know that you understand their feelings will help your child to regain control and calm down. If your child is upset, say to them “I can see that you are angry right now, but the way you are acting is not ok. How can we let your anger out?”, then give some ideas. Providing an alternative gives them some control and an avenue to express themselves appropriately.

Self-Confidence Show your child the support they need without fixing every problem they run into. Allow them the chance to work through problems on their own. Overcoming challenges not only builds their problem-solving skills, but it also builds their confidence. As your child develops, begin to give them tasks and responsibilities. Allow them to set the table, clean up, or help you in the kitchen.  They will feel proud of a job well done! But remember to be patient.   They are learning and it is okay if it takes a little longer or is not done perfectly. It takes time to learn a new skill and they need guidance from you while they master new tasks.

Build language and literacy skills by talking together. It seems simple, but talk to your child all day long. When they are young, narrate what you’re doing and point things out to them. As they begin to develop communication skills, continue by asking them questions and engaging in back and forth conversation. Reading is also critical to building language and literacy skills. Read to and with your child from birth. Fifteen minutes a day can result in lifelong benefits for your child.  Don’t worry if they can’t sit to finish the book. That is not as important as the time you spend together. And don’t forget, reading the same books over and over again builds connections in the brain.

 Each child is unique, with their own set of strengths and challenges. If your child has a hard time in one area, it doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t ready for school. They may just need more support in that area. Your child may catch on to reading very quickly but struggle with holding a pencil or using scissors. Maybe your child has excellent social skills but needs more support to build math skills. Pay attention as your child grows and develops so that you can encourage the areas that they excel in, while also strengthening the areas they need to grow.

Additional Resources:

• Is My Child Ready for Kindergarten?
• Kindergarten Readiness Skills Guide

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We are excited to introduce our new blog series: Encouraging Wellness. Raising healthy kids is a full-time job- from understanding development to communication to relationship building and everything in between. In this series, we will talk about healthy practices that parents can incorporate into their daily routines to further encourage overall health and wellness for our children.

The Veggie Struggle  

Eating a well-balanced diet, packed with nutritious fruits and vegetables is crucial to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. So much of our wellness begins with the foods that we eat. A balanced diet helps with brain functioning, boosts the immune system, encourages better concentration, as well as a number of other long-term health benefits. It’s no secret that a healthy diet is important, but convincing children to eat healthy foods is another story. Children are notorious for refusing their veggies and reaching instead for sweet, processed treats.

Start a Home Garden

If you are a parent struggling to find ways to encourage your child to eat more vegetables, gardening can be a helpful tool. Gardening is a great way to help children become more comfortable with the idea of eating a scary big green stalk of broccoli or a bright red tomato. If a child knows where the vegetable comes from and is involved in the growing process, they are much more likely to want to eat it. Gardening gives you the opportunity to introduce new vegetables into your child’s diet, allowing them to try new foods and train their taste buds to enjoy produce.

Starting a garden doesn’t have to be overwhelming. If you are new to gardening, start small.  Squash, herbs, and radishes are low maintenance, high producing plants and are great options to begin with.  If you don’t have much room, container gardens are a perfect idea! Teach and involve your child from start to finish. Explain that plants grow from a seed and let them help you plant them in the dirt.  Every child loves dirt and learning why worms are important is an added bonus! Include some science when teaching that plants need dirt, water, and sunlight in order to grow. Have them take part by watering the plants each day and harvesting their crops when it’s time. This is also a good time to check out gardening books from the library.  You could also visit a local farmers market to meet farmers in person and explore more about growing in your area.

Gardening is not only good for helping children become more comfortable with the vegetables they are eating, but it also incorporates a wealth of learning opportunities, physical exercise, and sunshine for everyone involved! Don’t forget about all of the extra quality time you’ll spend together and memories that you will make along the way. Now that you know all of these potential benefits that come from starting a garden with your child, you might as well dig in and get your hands dirty!

Additional Resources:

• For all information and tips needed to start a youth garden, check out Gardening Basics
• Browse through Gardening with Kids YouTube channel for how-to videos on all sorts of gardening topics
• 10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Starting a Vegetable Garden

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Understanding social-emotional development in infants and toddlers is important to be sure they are on track with learning the skills appropriate for their age. Developmental milestones can help you understand what to expect at different ages and identify areas of where your child may need to expand their skills. As your child grows and develops, be sure to notice if they’re hitting their social-emotional milestones.

Young Infants: Birth to 9 months

• Has the ability to self-calm
• Recognizes familiar adults
• Looks to adults to help calm them down
• Trusts, bonds, and attaches to others

What Can You Do to Encourage the
Development of these skills?

Be excited with your baby! At this age, children are constantly learning and discovering new things, so celebrate with them. Play a game of peek-a-boo and excitedly say “You found me!” when you reveal your face. Build on the skills your baby already has and reassure them that they are on the right track.

Build a relationship with your infant’s child care provider. Have open and frequent conversations about your child- their personality, their interests, their schedule, what calms them down, etc. This helps both you and your child’s caregiver learn more about your child and ensures you are both on the same page.

Mobile Infants: 9-18 months

• Imitates other’s facial expressions and noises
• Experiences separation anxiety
• Developing sense of self
• Beginning to socialize

What Can You Do to Encourage the
Development of These Skills?

Be a safe place for your baby. Does your child crawl away and look or come back to check if you are still there? They want to be assured they are safe and may be looking for encouragement to keep exploring.

Establish routines and transitions early. This helps your child know what to expect day in and day out. Keeping daily activities in the same order and at approximately the same time each day gives children a sense of confidence and security as they are able to anticipate and prepare for their day. For example, you might tell your child, “After breakfast, we will brush our teeth and get dressed. Then we will leave for your school and I will go to work.”

Toddlers: 18 months to 3 years

• Tests the limits
• Pretends
• Gains control
• Empathy

What Can You Do to Encourage the
Development of These Skills?

Praise the process. Sometimes it’s easy to focus on results and forget all that it took to get there. Don’t forget to encourage your child along the way! Make them feel good about their efforts. If you notice your child is working really hard on a drawing or building a structure, let them know you appreciate their hard work. This shows them that determination, focus, and persistence are important.

Help your toddler become a problem-solver. Build their confidence by allowing them to figure out problems on their own. Allow them to try to put their own shoes on or button their own pants. If you notice they start to become frustrated, step in to guide them, but always allow them the opportunity to master the skill on their own.

Children grow and develop at their own pace. They have diverse learning styles and require different approaches, so it’s important to be aware of your child’s specific needs. If you have concerns regarding your child’s development, it’s never too early to ask your child’s doctor for guidance.

Additional Resources:

• Learn the Signs, Act Early. Download CDC’s free Milestone Tracker App
• Articles, Quick Tips, and Activity Ideas from PBS
• Use this website to learn about Social and Emotional Skills: What to Expect at Different Ages

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Our new blog series will focus on healthy social-emotional development. In this series, we will help you understand what it is, provide some examples of social-emotional development and share why it is important to your child’s growth and development.

According to Zero to Three, social-emotional
development refers to your child’s ability to:

• Experience, regulate, and express his or her emotions.
• Form close and secure interpersonal relationships
• Explore the environment and learn

Ask yourself the following questions: does your child have the ability to understand the feelings of others? Can they control their own emotions? Can they build relationships with adults and get along with other children?

Social-emotional development refers to a wide range of skills used in every day social interactions. Young children develop these skills and abilities in small steps. It takes time to learn to make friends, display anger in a healthy way, or to wait patiently. Children don’t instinctively know how to respond to someone who’s been hurt, resolve conflicts peacefully, or to follow rules. We have to teach and show them!

For some children, these skills come naturally and with others we have to be more intentional about building them. Either way, children look to their parents and other influential adults to model how to respond to certain situations. You are their first example of positive, healthy social-emotional interactions.

Relationships are Key

“Initially, your baby’s entire world consists of you and your spouse and any other caregivers who are with them on a daily basis.” -Greenspan, 1999

Strong, positive relationships help children develop trust, empathy, compassion, and learn the difference between right and wrong. These skills begin developing at birth and continue through each stage of development and everyday interactions with you. For example, when you meet your baby’s needs and show them empathy, they begin to understand and value themselves. As a result, children begin to learn the importance of respecting and valuing the feelings of others, and develop positive relationships. There is a chain reaction that begins with every early interaction with caregivers.

What Can You Do?

Healthy social-emotional development has important benefits to children, families, and the community as a whole. Unhealthy social-emotional development comes with many challenges. Some common challenges that can stem from difficulty in social-emotional development include poor self-esteem, difficulty in school, isolation, difficulty building and maintaining relationships, and low confidence. Starting to work on these skills early is important, so here are some steps you can take to help your child’s social-emotional development:

• Lead by example and model positive behaviors
• Be affectionate toward your child- hug them, make eye contact, use a kind tone
• Be considerate of feelings, wants and needs
• Express interest in your child’s activities
• Respect and listen to their viewpoints and consider their perspective
• Express pride in accomplishments
• Provide encouragement and support during times of stress
• Help them name their emotions and teach them how to handle them

Additional Resources:

• Check out this video to learn the importance of connecting with babies from an early age
• Use this website for resources to begin building your child’s social-emotional skills
• Is your child’s social development on track? Take a look at this article to learn more.